Mike, the restrooms at your school in NY sound almost as bad as ours here in South Carolina. Actually, the girls' restrooms aren't too bad, but from what I hear about the boys'.... I thank God everyone morning I'm female.

Here's an example: in chemistry last semester, if we had to go to the restroom, we just said, "Hey! Doc! I'm goin' to the bathroom!" and she'd let us go. She didn't bother to write us a pass or anything - she trusted us... Right up until the last couple weeks of school that is. Because, a couple weeks before school let out, someone yelled, "Hey! Doc! I'm goin' to the bathroom!" and she said, "Uh, nope" (this led to shock and general disbelief among the rest of the class). So when we asked why, she says, "Because the boys' restroom was sort of... vandalized the other day." "Yeah?" we ask, "Like how? Someone broke the one remaining soap dispenser?" "Uh, no.... Someone urinated on the walls. We're not allowed to let you guys go to the restroom anymore." umm...

So let's all stop being embarrassed about our "sounds." Let's just be glad a trip to the potty doesn't cause disgust-induced nausea.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 1999

Maybe I'm becoming too repressed after living in England for a couple of years, but I think you guys are sharing way, waaayyyy too much.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 1999

To combat my paranoia I often bring things into the bathroom stall with me (like a purse or a backpack). That way I can pretend that I'm looking for something in my bag if I need to wait out the person in the stall next to me. Sometimes I get that bashful bladder at work, since they keep the bathroom at a -3 degree temperature at all times. I don't want someone thinking I'm camping out in there.

I think this paranoia comes from the fact that women's restrooms aren't all about just going to the bathroom. They've become sort of a female meeting room. I don't want to interrupt the discussion by people thinking, "What is she doing in there?"

-- Anonymous, June 22, 1999

I once asked a couple of women who were standing in the bathroom chatting to leave because I couldn't pee with them just standing there talking. It doesn't bother me when women are chatting as they wash their hands or something like that, but you would think these women could've found some place better to "shoot the shit", as it were.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 1999

I meant to contribute my own answer to this earlier, but I forgot. Sorry.

The whole reason I posted this question is becauase I read Maggie's entry about HER "pee paranoia" (http://www.lucids.com/061099.html), and I wrote her to tell her that I'm just like her, a freak. SO far, we've decided that we both feel like we "lose points" if someone catches us coming out of the restroom. We both have this slightly schizophrenic feeling that people are checking out our shoes so they can figure out who we are and laugh at us, and we both don't have a problem with total strangers or friends being in the bathroom, just people like co-workers.

Maggie, c'mon, you have to post here too, you have waaaay to much to say about this subject to bottle it up! *snicker* Are you going to kick my ass now? *giggle*

-- Anonymous, June 22, 1999

hahaha - gee, thanks Mellie. I guess you can all blame it on me as I started this whole subject. I swear, one day I'm going to turn on the tv and see this on the news.

Well, guess what, Mellie, I'm taking you down with me...hehehe.

Anyway, here it goes:

me standing up: "My name is Maggie. I have "pee paranoia. Thank you."

Mellie, we need to create some kind of support group for this. :-)

-- Anonymous, June 22, 1999

I do what I can to make people's bathroom experiences traumatic. If someone is being loud in one of the stalls, heighten their discomfort by blurting out, "I hear corn!!!". Not moving or audibly breathing when someone is sitting in the next stall will usually win the waiting war.

The rest of this message is true and a little disgusting.

I don't remember who mentioned the shoe paranoia, but I can't help mentally cataloging the shoes of every person I know and also noting down every non-handwasher in the office. When I was living in Nebraska (involuntarily) one co-worker mentioned that washing his hands after urinating was pointless since urine was anitseptic. I nodded and stuck my hand out. After he warily shook it and asked what that was all about, I said "Ok, now sniff your hand. That's SCROTUM SWEAT you're smelling"! I'm actually pretty fanatical about handwashing and keeping myself clean, but the implication was enough to scare him into becoming a regular handwasher.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 1999

I knew that people actually did pay attention to what other people were doing in the potty!! That's IT....from now on, I'm bringing a secret pair of "potty shoes" to work, and I'm going to change into them every time I have to go!

So sayeth MellieBee

-- Anonymous, June 22, 1999

MellieBee:

For fun the pair of shoes you use just for the bathroom should be size 12 men's shoes. That could get interesting...

-- Anonymous, June 22, 1999

I have a really difficult time not laughing when the chick next to me is farting up a storm.

I never poo in public restrooms because I'm usually on antibiotics or some other medication that doesn't make your bowels smell too nice. I am a courteous person, what can I say?

-- Anonymous, July 06, 1999

No cracks about my name and this topic please. Hey Darcy, I've seen some toilets that will make you hurl up everything you ate last year.

-- Anonymous, July 07, 1999

I know this thread is old, but I need some sort of Pamie-fix. But, all this talk of peeing is making me have to go to the bathroom!

-- Anonymous, January 05, 2000

Oh good, I thought I was the only one... I have gotten better at, er, relaxing when there's someone in the next stall. However, there is an older woman who works with me who has some major gastrointestinal problems. She's in the bathroom ALL day, and she makes these weird grunting, groaning noises, and farts, and then just sits there in silence... if I walk into the bathroom and see her shoes peeking out from under the stall door, I just wash my hands and leave again. She, of course, probably thinks I'm obsessive-compul

-- Anonymous, January 10, 2000

I'm potty-cursed. The bathroom is empty, I go in, I lock myself into a stall. Fine. I'm happy that I am alone. But as soon as I sit down, someone else comes in, and I HAVE to wait until they leave before I can go. So that silent pair of combat boots in the next stall is me, and if you could hurry up and leave, I'd appreciate it. I have to go... and I don't want company.

-- Anonymous, January 15, 2000

You know, as to the question of comparative quality in bathrooms...

Okay, once this jackass stole my book in class, bolted out the door, down the hall, into the guy's bathroom. So of course I must seek and destroy... That was just to explain why I was in the (dum dum da duuuum) boys' bathroom. Just so y'all don't think I'm a pervert... there'll be plenty of time for thinking that later. But anyway, I was in there to get my book (it was hilarious, cuz the guy didn't think I'd follow him in, god that was a priceless face) and there was not only piss covering the floor, but obscenities spray painted EVERYWHERE. in a happy suburban middle school. i mean, we girls stick to pencils with our dirty words, but these things were like two feet high in green paint... artistic, n'est pas? On the other hand... once at one of those stay-over-night things at the YMCA, me and my friend went into the guys locker room, to see what it looked like... it was gorgeous!! these people not only had wooden benches to our metal ones... they had carpet! nice, stylish, red carpeting, for chrissakes. and a further inquiry produced YMCA-provided towels and shampoo, and FUNCTIONING TOILETS. dude, in comparison to the chick's locker room, it was heaven! we almost spent the night in there it was so comfy!

well, just felt like sharing...

-- Anonymous, January 29, 2000