What goes through your head when you're stuck in a car by yourself? What do you do to pass the time? Do you talk to yourself? Do you practice conversations you will have later? Do you keep to yourself so you don't make a scene? Is this your time for personal grooming?

-- Anonymous, May 06, 1999

Answers

Hey Pamie, you sound like me. "Will you go the friggin' speed limit grandpa? Sunday driving is for Sunday's!" I talk out loud, in my head....I do it all.

-- Anonymous, May 06, 1999

I almost died when you mentioned "No Scrubs." That song has become the bane of my existence - and only because I hate it and like it at the same time. I really cannot stand stupid songs about "You can't even talk to me because you don't have money," or whatever, but I love that part about "If you live at home with your mama, oh yes son, I'm talkin to you." Everytime it comes on I quickly reach to change the station and then linger until I can hear that part.

That's sad.

-- Anonymous, May 06, 1999

I had a total "Everybody Hurts" flashback when I read that column. I saw Pamie with little subtitles under her. It was very amusing, for me at least... :) tee hee... Sorry, Pamie.

o.

-- Anonymous, May 06, 1999

Man I love that haiku. HEY! What am I doing here?! I'm supposed to be balancing equations for Chemistry... Damnit pamie, you're addicting. I'll never get my homework done. Anyway: yes. Yes I practice conversations I'll have later. I didn't think anyone else did that. I thought it was just me. Thank God. I also have this little fantasy/daydreaming thing. It's usually about me being an actress on a tv show - usually X-files - and I just sit there and think about how cool it would be to be all tight with David Duchovny. Damn he looks good.

God I just realized how sad I sound. I think I'll go balance those equations now.

-- Anonymous, May 06, 1999

Every few weeks I have to take a 2 hour drive (dropping kid off with dad)and I use the opportunity to fight/discuss with my boyfriend- except he's not in the car. I get a lot off my chest and he never even knows I was mad. I decided I don't care what other drivers think when they see me; I figure I'll never see them again (I hope) and hey, it's my space. I love my car. My boyfriend gave me a portable CD player to plug into the lighter, but I have almost killed myself a few times trying to change CD's, so now it's talk radio, because I'm sick of Scrub (daughter loves it) and all the GooGoo songs.

-- Anonymous, May 06, 1999

im currently writing a song for in the car, its going to be a number one hit, everyone will sing it, and then i can be like britney spears, except prettier and cuter and less plasticy, but thats what i do in my car, and i sing really loudly and dance, and sometimes i scream obscenities, but thats just me, la la la

-- Anonymous, May 06, 1999

the girl who wasn't doing her homework because she was reading squishy was right - you are addicting. i never do anything in the car except listen to music and sing along. and my window is usually down, but i sing anyway, and i sing loud. nevermind that i can't carry a tune in a bucket. sometimes at stoplights i sing to john doe in the car next to me. sometimes he watches me with an amused look and sometimes he pretends he can't see me. when he pretends he can't see me, i stare right at him. i sing love songs to him.

-- Anonymous, May 06, 1999

Heh heh, traffic. I'm horrible in traffic. Everything that has ever bothered me comes to my mind in traffic. I get so darn irritated. I start wondering the reason for the traffic, thinking "it's probably an accident. Damn people don't know how to drive. And the other people are just slowing down to gawk at it while I'm in a rush." I'm not usually in a rush, but somehow when there is traffic, I am suddenly in a rush. I look at the other side of the highway, seeing cars zipping by like life is great and I get so jealous "THEY don't have traffic. Why can't the traffic be over THERE?"

Then, when cars start moving, I get so happy. I ram on the gas only to have to stop (very) short a few feet ahead as we only moved a few feet. For some reason, if there is room between me and the car infront of me, I feel the need for speed.

When I'm finally out of traffic, I get so happy that I start speeding like mad and think to myself "damn, if there was no traffic, I'd be two lights ahead right now. Damn, I wish I was up there."

Needless to say, sometimes I need to just leave my car at home.

-- Anonymous, May 09, 1999

This got me thinking about this one particular time I was made an hour late for work because of sitting in traffic. Middle of summer. The driver's tan on my left arm is looking pretty bitchin' (I would look absolutely stunning if my entire body was this color instead of the pathetic pasty white it is.)

Anyway. . .left the house about half an hour before I had to be at work. Should have given me enough time to get there even with the construction going on just around my exit. Traffic stops about five miles before the exit and just will not move. I slowly bake in the hellish oven that is my non-air conditioned Geo. Damn, that left arm is starting to itch. Must be all that sun. Move about a mile in 20 minutes. I'm gonna get sooooo fired. Thanks a lot, God!! Somebody better be dead up there, I swear I'll get out and kill someone if we are stopped here while people are rubbernecking some cop handing out a ticket. Four miles later I finally get to what the holdup is. I should probably mention that I've been on the interstate this whole time. Four lanes on my side of the huge median and another four lanes on the other side. THE PROBLEM IS AN ACCIDENT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FREAKING MEDIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!! They'll never believe this at work. Jesus, people!! Are your lives so pathetic and empty that you have to check out an accident EIGHT LANES AWAY FROM WHERE YOU ARE?!?!?!? It's a good thing I had a book in the car (reading while stuck in traffic is kind of a minor art form).

-- Anonymous, May 10, 1999

Ohmigod Pamie! You just cracked me the hell up!!! I, too, along with several others here, thought I was THEE only person who thought things like that! The craziest things!

I always turn on the music and LOUD!!! Nothing relieves the stress as much as belting out lyrics (most of which you don't even know) at the top of your lungs while complete strangers are pointing and snickering at you. I'm constantly having conversations with myself about all sorts of things...and cursing drivers is one of my most favorite past times when I'm alone. There are just SO many out there to tell off it's amazing! And MAN! in Jersey, there's a plethora of 'em all!

I do also plan out conversations I'll have later...*embarrassed* sometimes I just make up complete conversations that didn't even happen in my head. Fantasize about lovers, friends, situations...only that can get distracting and OOPS! damn, did I just cut you off??? Sorry didn't see ya pal! *gasp* Yeah? F*&$K YOU TOO A--hole!!!! GRRRRRRR yep yep you're NOT alone!!!!!

-- Anonymous, May 13, 1999

I sing. I have a nice system, so people know I'm not just talking to myself. I have a nice car, and I look nice too, so I can get away with it. But I'm usually gone before anyone can notice what that sound was... I used to get stoned in my car, but I quit smoking so I don't do it anymore. But when I did, I'd do the speed limit (for very obvious reasons), and just watch people. Observe traffic patterns. Make notes. Read licence plates for odd letter arrangements. Listen to the stereo. Note where streets and businesses were. Learn the pattern of traffic lights. Learn how long I'd be waiting at intersections. Try to remember who drives what nice car. See if I can steal any car customization ideas. Think about possible conversations with people. Go over past conversations with people. Look for cops!!!

-- Anonymous, December 12, 1999