Are there some sports that you think shouldn't waste espn's air time? Are there some that you think are under appreciated?

-- Anonymous, April 19, 1999

Answers

My favorite sports-commentator-obviously-just-saying-words-because-he's-paid-to-do -that moment was when I was watching last year's NBA finals and the game is all over and the Bulls are running around happy. They show members of the Jazz and the commentator whispers, "Sometimes, you come so close to winning..."

"That is when you lose," I whispered back in reply.

-- Anonymous, April 20, 1999

Of course.. Fishing shouldn't be bothered with. Baseball is a close second.

Surfing and soccer are underappreciated. So is commuting.

-- Anonymous, April 19, 1999

driving in miami is the only "sport" involving a car.

-- Anonymous, April 19, 1999

Here's a suggestion for a new sport: "Kill the Commentator." I swear, when John Tesh was doing the commentary for Olympic gymnastics, I had to mute the television. He actually used the word "Histrionics" when discussing the "history" of this Chinese gymnast. I also get tired of the "Moments of Melodrama." "When Xu Ling Cho was just a little girl, her entire family was eaten by a wild boar. She survived to become China's Hope for the Gold..." [cue music, wide shot of frowning girl, corner shot of wild boar].

-- Anonymous, April 19, 1999

I figure it's easy to decide if it is a sport or not. One must be decidedly politically incorrect and define it by the athletes that participate in said sport.

Some 500lb lardo (a thousand apologies to what I accept may be "glandularly challenged" people, I'm just using an extreme example) playing monopoly is not an athlete participating in a sport. That having been stated, bowling is not a sport and bowlers are not athletes. Golf is a past-time, rugby is a sport. Boxers are athletes because although brainless, they don't have trouble going up a flight of stairs. Sumo wrestlers should stop screwing around and admit that all they want in life is to play monopoly.

Someone (name sounds like Abe Truth) can be overweight and still be athletic participating in something as mind numbingly boring as baseball. You see, once the "sport" requires nothing more than a pulse and respirator you've officially left the arena. Curling? Not a sport. Introduce tackling and you've now re-entered the arena.

Bottom line is this...can you beat Mike Tyson at it? Bruce Lee? William "the Refrigerator" Perry? Then it's not a sport.

-- Anonymous, April 19, 1999

driving on the lie (long island expressway - in ny) is a sport in itself. merging on the lie is another sport - one that most li'ers have yet to master or even begin to familiarize themselves with.

it's enough to make crazed driver-killers out of those of us who have mastered the art of lie driving.

-- Anonymous, April 19, 1999

Uh, it can't be defined by the physical attributes of the athlete. Refridgerator Perry was in no condition to be an athlete, but only was useful as brute force. He was like forcing a square peg in a round hole because you used a sledgehammer that didn't belong in the first place.

You can say a sport needs, first, to involve skill. Some kind of refinement. There must be some kind of conflict, and regardless of skill, there is always the chance of one side winning over a more skilled side.

Hunting is not a sport. Although I believe that it is not inhumane simply because deer populations are out of control because we killed their natural preditor, bambi still can't grab a gun and return fire.

Bowling is a sport, but ONLY if drinking and smoking are allowed.

Surfing is a sport. Man vs nature. Nature many times wins, regardless of the skill of the surfer.

Things can be a past-time, but context depends on if it is a sport or not. Karate (and all it's cousins) is not a sport. Traditionally, it's a way of life. People who just do it for competition make it sport. They are also stupid.

Like boxers.

Sports don't necessarily have to be exciting for the audience. Although, most should have a point.

NASCAR has no point. They don't get anywhere. They drive in a circle.

Commuting, now, that's a sport. Destination, multiple paths, in-transit redirections, shoulder blocks, weaving, stiff-arms, pushing old ladies out of the way so you can make the closing doors of the subway. Oh, yeah, baby!

Baseball is not a sport. It is a game.

Hockey, now that's a sport. It at least require skill.

-- Anonymous, April 19, 1999

I watched all umpteen hours of the NFl Draft on ESPN this weekend. I think that disqualifies me from this conversation, because obviously, there's nothing too pathetic on my mind to show on TV and call it a sport.

Maybe cheerleading contests, although I enjoy those not for the athleticism, but the aesthetic value of it. :)

-- Anonymous, April 19, 1999

AUUUUG! Formula One Racing! I HATE Formula One Racing!!

This reminds me of a conversation I had with the Boy this weekend. We were watching one of those tool-usin' TLC shows about making your own cabinet or something, and I turned to him and said "What's the point of this show?" Him: "Well, he's showing you how to do the project and so on." Me: "No he's not, he's going way too fast for anyone to figure out how to do what he's doing, and he's making his own BOARDS for god's sake!" Him: "Honey, sometimes men just need something to watch."

Stuff for men to just watch.

That in mind, I think that surviving the LIE is a deathmatch sport unto its own, and that is the only activity involving a moving vehicle that can rightly be called a sport. Although to be more precise, it's probably more of a *skill* -- like cliff-diving, or fire-eating.

And I get teary every time another clip of the Great One passes by as we're channel surfing.

-- Anonymous, April 19, 1999

rowing is a sport.

-- Anonymous, April 19, 1999

I think the only reason that everyone is so willing to say that boxers are stupid is that it's really hard to email a left jab. Sure, Mike Tyson is somewhat of a throwback to simpler eons, but not all boxers are permanently punch-drunk. There's also the grouping of all boxers as being male. Austin seems to have a recent surge in interest in women's boxing, and I dare anyone to call these women either masculine or dumb.

That said, thank God for the person who hates the sports announcers. I am unfortunate enough to have a roommate who will watch any sport. The other day he's watching a golf game, and the commentator actually said in the stereotypical whisper, "You know, (insert guy in Izod's name here--yes they still make Izod, gator and all) lives alone. He doesn't go out much, just hangs out. Sometimes he rents a movie," and he went on like that for five minutes. I couldn't decide if I was bored to tears or weeping with rage. And Madden, oh Madden. Don't get me started on that bloated sack of senile liver disfunction. He really has no idea what's going on any more. At least Harry Carey was cute.

-- Anonymous, April 20, 1999

You know - I love that World's Strongest Man competition. That is some crazy stuff. It ties in nicely with my sports commentator problem, though. "And Lars is pulling the car....PULLING...he's pulling the car up the hill...You know (whispering), Lars' wife Pomona sold her hair so that Lars could be here today..."

-- Anonymous, April 20, 1999

I am totally enthralled by the Eco-Challenge. Yeah, it takes, like, an entire day to watch, but it's fascinating hearing all the stories as the teams try to stay alive.

-- Anonymous, April 20, 1999

MADDEN---MUST----DIE!!!!

Ok, thats better..I'm fine now...just a little gas. He just happens to embody everything I hate about sports. I'll go back in my hole now.

-- Anonymous, April 20, 1999

Oh my heavens. I must get in on this discussion.

Field band is as much of a sport as football, thank you very much. At my high school, the football players are very snotty towards us band geeks and it's rather frustrating. I'd like to see them carry a 50 lb tuba around a football field in a formation while playing music and marching in step! Geez.

And I love the way that gymnastics announcers dramatize the events.. somebody said this before. Like John Tesh whispering "and only four years ago at nationals, this gymnast's father got a cold. Let's see if she can overcome this obstacle and do her best" Same for figure skaters. Heck, double for figure skaters.

Driving a car in a circle isn't a sport unless there are cool obstacles that pop out of the track that they have to dodge. That would be fun to watch. And baseball.. well, I don't know about baseball. It seems so passive. Like.. run run okay stand for ten minutes.. run run stand around.. lala.. steal a base. Go sit on the bench for twenty minutes.

What are two activities where the winner crosses the finish line backwards? (besides a backwards marathon!) Somebody mentioned one of them already. (Almost said sports, but the second isn't a sport)

-- Anonymous, April 20, 1999

After channel surfing last night, I know that I definitively say that aerobics (yes, *aerobics*) is not a sport. Anyone else catch the aerobics finals? I watched for a minute or two out of sick fascination.

- Katy

-- Anonymous, April 21, 1999

I agree... aerobics is NOT a sport... la la la, look at me, I can dance around and kick high, just like my pairs partner... sparkly spandex does not belong in a sport!

-- Anonymous, April 21, 1999

bowling.. no one should show bowling...ever... and here in canada we have a little game called curling.. definetly not a tv type sport.... its kida like really big croconole? on ice.. with brooms... and rocks... and beer...

-- Anonymous, April 22, 1999

i don't agree that sparkly spandex does not make a sport. ever seen the SanFran 49ers? It's worth it to catch a game just to watch a bunch of huge men in tight little gold spandex pants jump on top of each other.. have you noticed? if you don't make eye contact, it's not homoerotic...

-- Anonymous, April 23, 1999

I am responding to the gentleman who stated that it difficult to carry a tuba and walk in step. I have no problem with the degree of difficulty of this event, because I could not do it, as could few of the football players on the team. However, it is not a sport because you are judged using subjective means. The same goes for gymnastics and figure skating. While these are incredibly difficult events that I could not perform, nor could 99% of professional athletes, it still is not a sport when the Russian judge can keep you from winning because he does not like your politics.

-- Anonymous, April 23, 1999

OK...here's one that barely qualifies as a *real* sport, but oh how i love it so... dog shows. Of course, nobody will watch with me...I sit there and critique each and every freakin' dog. Yes, I'm one of those strange dog fanciers. I know not too many other people care about the layback of a dog's shoulders, or the correct placement of tan points in the cocker spaniel. *Sigh*...I'm so misunderstood.

-- Anonymous, April 24, 1999

my favorite 'sporting event' is pool. heh heh heh.

i doubt if that counts at *all,* but i like it, and i usually despise sports, passionately.

-- Anonymous, May 05, 1999

Dennis,

Bowling isn't a sport because I am really good at it. That's a good indicator that it's lame and doesn't test anyone's strength.

Besides, if bowling is a sport than ski-ball must be a sport too!

-- Anonymous, July 06, 1999

A sport is something that is fun, involves skill, and involves competition. Baseball, fooball, basketball, and hockey are the four major sports. However, that doesn't mean that everything else isn't a sport. Bowling is a sport, because it is competitve, and contrary to popular belief, it involves a lot of skill if you want to becaome really good. I'm talking a 200 average, not 140. That sucks. In the same way, tennis is also a sport. I'm so sick of hearing that something is only a sport if it involves physical contact. That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. If it involves competition and skill, and you can make a living out of it, then it's a sport.

-- Anonymous, December 08, 2001