I have absolutely no sexual interest in anything, dildos, men, my hand, and least importantly women. Everyone thinks i'm just really smart and don't have time for it but in all honesty i'm retarded. I realize now just a few of the stupid things i said such as "Flying Sheep development should have an aeronautics division" this guy, whom i will keep anonymous by calling him pud, promptly smacked me and called me retarded. Am i retarded? am i normal?

-- Calvin McCucheon (cmccuche@probablygay.com), March 16, 1999

Answers

My son, you are retarded. There is nothing I can do for you, save for my "it's raining women" trick. Though, I fear that you'd say "what in the world? what are all of these females doing on the ground? it's going to be really hard to get rid of them".

Even though I'm God, I still don't understand you. I created the entire universe, and how you came to me is still a mystery. Perhaps I was high. Anyway, I've never had to destroy anything out of not understanding it, but you're an exception.

-- Jesus Christ (jesus@christ.org), March 17, 1999.

Well i think the first thing we must do is classify you under "clinically dumb" there are several steps to help the people around you become less annoyed because...frankly...nobody can help you. First...rip out your voicebox...no more talking can occur, second...your hands must be lopped off....no sign language can occur...thirdly...feet as well, no sign language can occur. Eyes must be gouged out....no looking must occur for non verbal/non hand gesture communication can occur...well after stating all that, i have opted for a more simple solution for you and everyone else....decapitation.

btw, you have already annoyed me by using my "response" name in your ask will forum, please don't ever do that again. keep you scaly skin away from me, don't talk to me, don't email me, and shower every once in awhile for those that must put up with you, maybe we should just go forward with decapitation and forget everything else

-- Pud (alandmar@cs.nmsu.edu), March 17, 1999.